Deconstructing the RZP: Viva Paris!

Season 2: Episode 7

Ok, so this has actually been in the back of my mind for a long time. I am constantly impressed with Rach's ability to lavish superlatives on each and every designer, but yet in a sincere way so that you completely believe her. I mean, she told Karl Lagerfeld that she came to Paris just for him, but she told Galliano that she experienced a fashion orgasm and that she has probably used his dresses the most on the red carpet. Then she said to Marc Jacobs that his show was "beyond." I think the key is that she remembers one or two pieces from the collection she's seen and then references them as amazing when she talks to the designer. "The silver dress? I die." "The leggings with the leather jacket? Ah-mah-zing." That shows a kind of people skill that separates the stylists from THE STYLISTS. I can't believe I just wrote that.

Anyway, Rach and Brad have a great time in Paris, going to shows and shopping (ostensibly looking for a gift for Taylor, but really shopping for themselves). In fact, Rach made Brad buy a vintage LEATHER (ugh) trench and was so adamant that he buy this trench that she gave him a raise to do so! Rach is so a fashion pusher (as opposed to a horse pills pusher). Occasionally, Rodg gets invited along to the show or is allowed to walk with Rach and Brad around the streets of Paris. Sometimes, he is left out and then he spends his time taking pictures of Rach's hairdresser and wandering around the city by himself trying to call Rach. Ummm...you wife is busy bringing home the bacon, Rodg. Leave her alone and let her do her job. Rodg manages to corner Rach and gifts her with a photo album of pictures taken of her on the trip (nothing more expensive because of "the recession"), which she declares the sweetest gift ever, but you know she was secretly wishing for something Hermes (like what she got Tay).

Back in LA, Tay has to put out fires and also mope around because she's pissed that everyone else in is Paris but her. So she brings her parents to the studio to commiserate, and instead of enabling her, her mom tells her to stop complaining about giving Paris to Brad, and her dad tells her to shit of get off the pot about getting a new job. It was CLASSIC. (And so reminded me of my parents. My mom would always say not to degrade a good thing by complaining about it. Tay thought she was being "nice" to give Paris to Brad - but if she's going to complain and be bitter about doing so, it takes the virtue out of her act.)

Next week, on the season finale, we find out if Tay is really going to quit, or if she's going to get some kind of better job position in RZ Inc. Also, in December, when my shopping hiatus is over, I'll be purchasing "stilts" like these from Piperlime:

Oh oh oh way-oh!

Standing in line at jamba juice, one of my dirty little pleasures and aids to losing weight earlier this year, as the theme to The Rachel Zoe project thumps loudly in the background. Who knew it was a real song...? Oh wait, I just remembered her tweeting something about it... But now I'm poised for a good day!
Shut-up right now!
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Deconstructing the RZP: Tay takes one for the team

Season 2: Episode 6

In this episode of "Rach is the worst boss ever," Rach somehow miraculously overcomes her debilitating vertigo to get her team all in a tizzy because EVERYONE IS GOING TO PARIS FOR FASHION WEEK - YIPPEE! To be honest, this is a great perk. I mean, to go to Paris fashion week, to sit in the shows, to stay at the Four Seasons and to get (spoiler alert) an exclusive invite to see Coco Chanel's residence, um, yeah? Where do I sign up? (Note: I'm just assuming that RZ Inc. pays for her team to go to Paris. She wouldn't make her assistants pay for that themselves, right? Especially when she can take a business deduction for it.) Anyway, there are cheers all around and everything is happy in RZ land and even Tay cracks a smile and talks about how it will be a life changing experience. But then...

In a not at all manufactured plot twist, Rach discovered that she has three jobs that need someone to stay back in LA while the rest of the team goes to Paris. How she did not know this day before, when she told her whole team that they would be going to Paris, is beyond me. And, this was just the beginning of the poor handling of the situation. Because then Rach decides that she doesn't want to dictate who should stay back, though she clearly thinks that Brad should volunteer to do so. So instead of being all, "Brad, you have to stay back because you have less seniority than Taylor," she just sends them both an email that says one of them has to stay back and to work it out between themselves.

This of course does not work out well, and neither Brad nor Tay volunteer to stay back. So then Tay has a talk with Rach, who continues with the passive agressiveness and tells her not to worry, she thinks Brad will eventually "Do the right thing" and volunteer to stay. Which of course Tay passes on Brad. Who had absolutely no intention to "do the right thing" and offer to stay. So Brad gets upset that Rach and Tay would go behind his back (I guess) and flips the script on them both by claiming that he's being "tested" and threatens to walk out. Finally, after making a bad situation worse, Rach just gives up and leaves the mess for Taylor to deal with. Not wanting to the the "bitch" (which...why? She's already the bitch, she should have continued to be the bitch, IN PARIS), Tay makes the executive decision that Brad can go to Paris and she (Tay) will stay back. Of course, Brad leaps at the chance, and talks to Rach who doesn't tell him to his face that he should be the one to stay, so guess what Tay? I guess you're not going to Paris after all. After writing this all out, I think that Brad and Tay should have gone to Paris and left Rach at home because clearly this her situation was her fault.

In the next episode, Rach and Brad (and the entire rest of the team) frolic in Paris while Tay grumps around in LA. But, what else is new?

Deconstructing the RZP: OMG Rach may (literally) die!

The RZP, Season 2, Episode 5.

In this episode of the RZP, Rach feels nauseous and dizzy and acts like she is going to literally die (not just die of fashion fabulousness). So she finally drags herself to the doctor, who diagnoses her with - wait for it - vertigo. Yup, that deadly disease, vertigo. (It's been so long, I can't remember if she is diagnosed in this episode or the next episode. Sorry if I spoiled this for anyone.)

What else happened? Oh right, because of nepotism, Rach was asked to appear in an episode of Ashton Kutcher's animated series "Blah Girls" which I haven't heard of and know nothing about. But remember when Rach said that she really really hates modeling because she is so not good at it? Well, she should also really really hate acting, because she is so not good at that either. The "Blah Girls" bits were just uncomfortable to watch. It was Rach not knowing what was going on, and the Blah Girls people trying to be nice to her (because she's a friend of the boss' wife). I mean there was a time in the episode when she had to voice some of her own popular catchphrases and she couldn't even act "herself" for the voice work! She had to mimic the producer, mimicing her. I mean...

That's about it with regard to this episode. I hope things get more exciting in Zoe world next week.

omg she almost died!

Image via bravotv.com

So I know that recapping Rachel Zoe is Jessica's thing, but not to spoil her recap, I have to talk about one little thing from last night... She almost died!

Oh, mah GOD. In the last 5 minutes of Monday's episode, that ended in a cliff hanging "to be continued...", Rach was stricken down by some kind of nausea and illness that they tried to blame on "general exhaustion" or a "chronic imbalance". Ok. I was thinking that maybe she had just seen some killer "shoeties" or ahmazing vintage Chanel? Or something else so bananas that it nearly made her die? I guess we won't know for sure until next week.

But the funniest part of it all is that she was what Brad called "fashionably nauseous" as he offered her a clutch to barf in. Rach was wearing a Louis Vuitton Jacket, Brian Atwood cork shoes, DSquared sunglasses, and later we see her holding her white Birkin as a barf bag in Tay's car and then lying fully bejeweled in a plush rob with fur thrown over her on bed dressed in designer pillows and sheets. Now that's how one should be sick.

I too nearly died when Tay and Brad kept saying that she's going to die. And then when they tried to make light of the situation by saying "Rach, don't die. Because we'll have to dress everyone for the funeral. Everyone is going to need outfits."

Rach, as someone who was also just sick and nearly died, I have a little advise: (perhaps in exchange for some styling tips later? or not.) Just try your best to push through it. It's really not that bad. Sure there are moments of discomfort, but you get to curl up in bed, knock yourself out with drugs, and then when you wake up, you're 5 pounds lighter!

Deconstructing the RZP: So is she rexy or not?

In this very special episode of the Rachel Zoe project, Tay alienates herself even further from the group, Rachel gets very nervous about modeling herself, Rachel gets hurt feelings by people calling her "pin thin", and we see her reunited with Nicole Richie at the Byron & Tracey salon opening.

When Rach is not fretting about her modeling for Marie Claire, she is fretting about being called too skinny. She tries on several dresses that either have an open front or open back (neither of which are good because you can see her ribcage or her spine) but then claims that she can't just wear a normal full-front and full-back dress because it is "summer". She's upset that people would make such judgments about her, despite the fact that hello, she is one giant clavicle! But she just dances around the elephant in the room. Here's a friendly piece of advice from me to you, Rach: Just tell us about it. Tell us you're naturally skinny (though this is doubtful given that old college "modeling" picture). Tell us that you work out incessantly, or you subsist on one meal a day, or that you use some kind of diet pill so that you can stay sample size skinny. Tell us that working in this business (which is based only on looks) has taken a toll on your self-esteem and you've forgotten what a "normal" size is. The reason why people are obsessed about your weight is because you clearly have an issue with it. So just address these issues and we can all move on.

I speak out of love. Rach's style is spot on - loose caftan dresses, long wavy hair, sequins and glam; I am a big fan of all of it. And her passion and excitement for what she does is contagious. I get excited about fashion because she's so excited and I've taken to repeating her signature catch phrases of ah-mah-zing, I die! and bah-nah-nas. Bottom line is that I love her, I love her style, I think she seems like a sweet (if somewhat ditzy and simple) person, but I just want to know: Why is she so skinny?

Deconstructing the RZP: Wherein I disgress and harangue about leather jackets, among other things

RZP Season 2, Episode 3.

Oh Tay. I know that all of your bitching and moaning is really just wrongly-placed insecurity over not being the only "styling assistant" in Rach's newly growing business. But you know what happens when you grumble too much? Brad gets put in charge of dressing Annie for the Oscars, including getting her changed into the surprise performance piece, and he totally kills it! He shuts it down!

Not to mention, although Tay had to help Rach pull the outfits for Liv's wardrobe, Brad was the one that got to be there when Liv came to try everything on. Because he's not such a Debbie Downer. And Rach's clients all seem to love to work with him. Did you hear how he says that he's "partied with Liv" on several occasions? Has Tay ever "partied with Liv"? And, what is Liv doing out partying? Doesn't she have a son she's supposed to be raising?

Aside from saying that every girl should have a killer pair of red heels (check), Rach also gives us this bon mot about how essential a leather jacket is: “Throw a leather jacket over a ballgown. Throw it over a romper. Throw it over anything and everything. It’s the quickest way to get that edgy, cool, I-didn’t-try-too-hard look.” Now, I can see what she's saying (conceptually), but I don't think I will be taking this piece of advice to heart because I am just not a leather jacket girl. Even those new shrunken ones that are more like bomber jackets.

Don't leather jackets remind you of the '90s? I remember my first year in Philly, everyone was wearing those ugly leather jackets in the winter that looked something like an unfortunate combination of a blazer and a peacoat.


(Maxwell Spense Leather Blazer from Wilson's Leather.)

These days, the leather jackets are cuter, I admit.


(Jacket from ShopBop, Mike and Chris "Janus" leather jacket.) (Also, as a side note, my mom would DIE for me to have this model's hair.)

But, I dunno, there is still something...icky to me about wearing an entire jacket made out of leather. If you get even just a little hot (or go to some restaurant with a pervasive food smell), can you just imagine what that thing would smell like?? It is a good thing I live in LA where it rarely is cold enough to justify leather so I can continue to ignore this fashion trend.

However, because I am full of contradiction, I am totally digging the trend of the leather (looking) legging, notably Sass & Bide's Black Rats.


From Net-A-Porter, which notes, "Pair these ruched wet-look leggings with a tunic or oversized tee for a directional day-to-evening style. Shown here with a McQ blazer, a Rick Owens Lilies top, Christian Louboutin shoes, a Philippe Audibert bracelet and a Chloé clutch."

This leggings-and-a-boyfriend-blazer-with-cuffed-sleeves look is ubiquitous now. Am I too short to pull it off? Also, I don't know about the whole wearing blazers outside of work thing. I mean, I have to wear a suit most days, and the last thing I want to wear "out" is part of a work suit (or at least something that looks like it is part of my work suit). I also feel like girls that wear blazers out to social events look like they take themselves too seriously. True? What do you think?

ANYWAY, back to the liquid leggings. Currently, ShopBop is selling grey "Black Rats" for $176. But! Last weekend I found a pair of shiny leather-esque leggings at Target for $12.99! (They also had lace leggings and side zipper leggings!)



Once my shopping hiatus ends (and the trend is totally played out) I can buy these leggings and rock them all over town!

Deconstructing the RZP: Mismanagement Rules

Season 2, Episode 2.

The main thing I learned in this episode is that fashion designers seem to be cookoo crazy pants. DVF calling her collection of eskimo-outfits "nomand friends"? Ummm, huh? And Armani seemed out of touch and senile. When Rach asked him who he designs for, he said not an actress in particular, but "a person with an allure." Oookkaay, Georgio.

BTW, Tay needs to just deal already. Yes, the organization is mismanaged. Yes, there is no communication and Rach neglected to tell you at some point that you didn't actually need to pull all those dresses and accessories for the Jen Garner shoot because it would only be beauty shots. And yes, there is no room for job growth and you are under-appreciated. But seriously? You knew all this already and yet you continue to work there, continue to grumble and whine to everyone BUT Rach herself (Joey, Brad), and she does nothing to help her situation. Has she told Rach she doesn't want to style anymore? Or does she just want to continue to play the martyr every chance she gets?

Fashion-wise, this episode was also a dud because we already know that Annie chooses the Armani Prive dress without a train the end. I mean, it is a nice dress, but agreed, the trains were a disaster.

I'm also wondering how there is only one dress for all different body sizes? The skinny model tries on the dress because Tay is too "big" for it, but then Annie looks actually "bigger" than Tay. So then how does Anne fit into the dress? Do they let it out at the last minute? Sew Anne into it the day of for the perfect fit? Questions for the RZP next season, I guess.

Deconstructing the RZP

Episode 1, Season 2

The first thing I thought of when I watched the Rachel Zoe Project the other night was how all the people on her "team" are caricatures in a comic or maybe a bad Cathy-type workplace cartoon. (Yeah, it wasn't the clothes, which didn't make their appearance until the end of the episode.)

Tay is that typical passive aggressive underminer that we've all worked with (or that maybe we are?). You hate her because she gets everything done, but has no people skills and complains and whines all the time. She also has no friends because she complains and whines all the time, and because she's better than you - and doesn't hesitate to remind you of it all the time. She's also paranoid that you will come in and do what she does - but better and without whining - and so she's constantly undermining everyone she works with to enforce her own superiority (like not properly explaining the job duties). That way the boss will continue to think she is "indispensable" and thus will keep her on, despite her attitude. Here, Tay wonders where else she can go in the company since she's been working for Rach for three years and her job duties haven't changed. (Hint: Maybe because you won't let anyone else do them.)

Brad is the total opposite. Brad is the personality pet at the office. He's the one chatting you up at the coffee maker, and you are having so much fun you don't realize it's been 30 minutes and you should have been back at your desk 20 minutes ago. He's not that bright and he's so. slow., but he has somehow ingratiated himself into the boss' good graces - so much so that he can do no wrong. I mean, the boss will ask Brad to lunch while you're still there, plugging away on the project. You hate him because you know you are clearly a better employee than him, but WHY CAN'T THE BOSS SEE PAST THE CUTE BOW TIES?

And Rach? She's the typical ditzy boss that doesn't know where to draw the line between "boss" and "friend" so she has a hard time keeping her employees in check.

But! On to the substance of the episode. It starts off with a bang and Rach and the team are dressing five stars for the Golden Globes - Deb Messing, Eva Mendez, Cammie Diaz, Demi Moore, and Anne Hathaway. Drama ensues because there are no good dress options out there and this is the first award show of the season and Eva wants to make a statement and Deb is like a tall drink of water and CD is fashion forward and Annie is nominated and hasn't had a "navy moment" yet, and yeah.

Deb and Demi are dealt with quickly:

Deb is in a navy Vera Wang with green earrings. Rach muses a bit about the green earrings and calls her a "tall drink of water" on the red carpet, but that's about all that's said about that. And I agree. The dress is nice, but...yawn. Also, I don't like the poofy hair. It looks like mine when I just wake up.



Even less is said about Demi. We just know that Brad was dispatched to get her jewelry and that she's dripping in Cartier diamonds.



Again, kinda yawn. It is Christian Dior, and it looked better on the runway. The color choice is fun, but I think it makes Demi look more muscular than necessary. But, you gotta hand it to Demi, she looks GOOD for her age.

Next, is Anne. Rach finds the navy and black Armani Prive and claims it is perfect for her since she is a nominee.


I think it is sort of plain and also too "old" for Anne. Especially with that hair. But Rach said that they thought Anne looked like "Cinderella", so what do I know?

Cammie D's dress was a nail biter because it showed on the runways with one cap sleeve that Rach asked Karl (Lagerfeld, you know) to take off for the Globes because she didn't think the American public was ready for a one-shouldered cap sleeve dress. Karl agreed, but couldn't promise when the dress alterations would be done. But, it was all finished in time, and Tay picked out the perfect silver shoe (I guess CD doesn't really need a 7 inch platform since she's so tall already) and the outfit all came together.



This I like. It's fun and age appropriate and highlights all of Cammie's best assets. The silver shoes and clutch and ring are perfect, and the hair works. (Better than Demi's.) Karl liked it too because he sent Rach a handwritten note afterwards congratulating her and basically saying that he harbored no hard feelings against her for changing La Lagerfeld's design (to suit the less avant garde American public).

Last, was Eva Mendez. Who hadn't been the the Globes in a couple years so really wanted to make a statement. Rach envisioned her in this all white Christian Dior gown that screamed for some vintage, archival, Van Clef turquoise around the neck. (When you're Rach Zoe, you have access to "archival-quality pieces." But the Dior was accidentally shipped to Chanel and Tay had to make sure it got to the studio! And then right before Eva left her house, she found a small spot on the dress behind a pleat! And Rach thinks that a really simple, messy chignon would be the best hair to go with the dress!



I like this one too. I like the architecture of the dress and I like the pop of the necklace, and I remember that it definitely made a statement at the Globes. Even the hair worked. (Though it looked more like a messy french twist instead of a messy chignon.)

All in all, a job well done for the team. (Unlike last year, when Brad didn't leave Rach with a kit. The horror!) However, a rift is developing because it is tradition for everyone on the team to have a viewing party of the red carpet moments of Rach's clients. Brad and the interns show up, but Tay is no where to be found, and has told Rach that she's "worn out" so she's just going home. Is Tay going to quit and open up a competing stylist business? Or maybe she'll go postal and take out Brad and the other interns one by one until it is just her and Rach again? What will happen to Brad? So many things promise to unfold this season....

(All pictures courtesy of Harper's Bazaar.)